gay jeffery Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If women want to be treated as equals to men, we're going to need to start seeing a lot more deadbeat moms and manizers.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 10:43 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Get off my balcony!!” — What my neighbor used to say to pigeons. Sometimes to me.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:08 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fingered you in 8th grade. I don't want to have a 15 minute conversation with you and your husband at Best Buy.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:10 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I learned all my fighting moves from mortalkombat basically it's just me jumping and somersaulting until the other person gets tired&leaves
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:14 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Best magic trick I ever pulled was making a house a boat and two motorcycles disappear into bag of cocaine.
←Rate | 06-02-2012 13:15 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dream job would be taking a baseball bat to the knees of anyone parked in a handicapped spot who shouldn't be
←Rate | 06-03-2012 13:33 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon To save time on playing board games in my family, dad would take the game out of the box and go directly to the throwing it at the wall part
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:13 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon it offensive to bring your own chair to someone's apartment?
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:14 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just spent an hour chasing a rabbit trying to take a picture of it. What has instagram done to me?.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:17 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Please die please die" - when I see someone I know walking towards me to say Hi
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:18 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wrote a book called "How to pick up girls." Page 1 says "Maybe buy a motorcycle? I dunno?" The rest is just pictures of dudes
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:19 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:22 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm smoking in an open space and someone starts coughing like a b1tch, I throw a teargas canister at them and run.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:24 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor called the cops because he thought I was screaming in pain when in fact I was just singing in the shower.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:28 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep a jar labelled "HIV Virus" in my jacket so when someone tries to fight me, I show it to them and throw it at their feet and run.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:29 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was all good at the HS reunion party until I laughed too hard my gun fell out of my pocket.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:30 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon When somebody tells me to relax, I immediately do.-nobody ever
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:32 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sorry, I thought you said you wanted multiple organisms. I'll return the petri dishes back to the lab.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:38 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon "LMAO!!" - Magneto, when he was confronted by Iron Man.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:48 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever a woman says "I want to show you something", I always reply "Okay!" in as fast as 0.03475 secs.
←Rate | 06-05-2012 09:50 by gay jeffery Comments (0)  




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