John Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I pretend to work.They pretend to pay me.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 16:46 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your delusional,she wouldn't do you if your semen cured cancer!!!
←Rate | 11-09-2011 14:04 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon When buying a new flat screen T.V, always remember to put the box in the neighbor's trash can so you don't get robbed.
←Rate | 12-04-2011 22:52 by John Comments (1)  

   messageicon If you put your kid's GPA in your Christmas card's the grandparents might be proud of them but everyone else is gonna think YOU'RE a di<k!
←Rate | 12-22-2011 14:40 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon .Merry Christmas to most,and to a select few of you may santa flush his $hitter over your chimney!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 20:30 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon A sure sign that drugs fu<k you up is that Russel Brand just filed for divorce from Katy Perry...WHAT,an idiot!
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:48 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon From now on I will only use blue SOLO cups,because of that STUPID STUPID song.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 19:49 by JOHN Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering what you would do for a klondike bar?
←Rate | 02-22-2012 21:54 by john Comments (0)  

   messageicon the best way to end up divorced...get married.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 08:16 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It's a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
←Rate | 07-06-2013 12:22 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its almost that time kids...Does everyone have their plungers ready?
←Rate | 11-28-2013 18:17 by John Comments (0)  

   messageicon We Want Top Gear Back Now
←Rate | 03-11-2015 04:08 by John Comments (0)  


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