Jeff W Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon So let me get this straight. There's a War on Women but no War on Terror? Hey guys, little less focus on the labia little more on Libya.
←Rate | 09-12-2012 21:47 by Jeff W Comments (1)  


   messageicon Storage Wars is fake? What will you tell me next, that Taco Bell meat isn't real or that Santa isn't real?
←Rate | 12-11-2012 22:38 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm taking my family to see the Nutcracker on Saturday. Of course I'm talking about my mother-in-law, not the show.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 22:51 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fastest way to get my son out the door on a school morning is to ask him if he wants a hug...
←Rate | 08-21-2013 08:19 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how much of a deduction I would get in figure skating by having to keep one hand on the wall the whole time?
←Rate | 02-09-2014 14:30 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Valentines Day is the only day of the year that the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
←Rate | 02-14-2014 09:29 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tossing back a drink for all of the presidents who died...so that we could have a day off work. Salute!
←Rate | 02-17-2014 12:39 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats to Lamar Odom. The first guy to have cocaine and bookers actually save his marriage.
←Rate | 10-22-2015 19:50 by Jeff W Comments (1)  


   messageicon So you can catch HIV from being in Two and a Half Men
←Rate | 11-16-2015 21:55 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow, I've been on the No Sugar Diet for one day and have already lost ... my will to live.
←Rate | 03-22-2016 11:59 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon DELTA = Don't Ever Leave The Airport
←Rate | 08-08-2016 19:10 by Jeff W Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lent is almost here! Time to get your Ash in church!
←Rate | 02-28-2017 05:29 by Jeff W Comments (0)  



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