Badd Status Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you want to be a leader with a large following, just obey the speed limit on a winding, two-lane road.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:46 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I had a theme song whenever I did something awesome.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:50 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sure am glad they give me a lead vest when they're giving me x-rays at the dentist. It gives the impression those rays must be dangerous. I'd hate to have something bad happen to my chest while I'm having dangerous x-rays shot into my head.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 15:45 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in the day, pirates used to raid armed ships, fight off trained swordsman for their gold, and survive on deserted islands with no other means of support. Now they sit in a chair and download movies. How far they have fallen?
←Rate | 09-24-2010 16:42 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the part of the whole sexting craze that gives me the greatest sense of outrage is the part where I'm not involved in it at all.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 16:44 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think a great name for an energy drink would be "F5." The tagline could be, "Hit the F5 to refresh!" Bask in the warmth of my genius.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 16:46 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to have sat in the marketing analysis meetings that gave us our early cartoons. "You know what America would love? A batsh*t crazy woodpecker, that's what! And a pig, a stuttering f*cking pig!"
←Rate | 09-24-2010 16:48 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the kid's gotten too big and fat for the show to be able to call itself "Two and a Half Men" anymore.
←Rate | 09-24-2010 16:53 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have been checking facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:45 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am REALLY good at what I do. You know, procrastinating and stuff.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:46 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime I hear strangers talking to each other in foreign languages I always automatically assume they're talking sh*t.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:47 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes really old people scare the sh*t out of me.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:48 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's cute how the news wants me to stick around until 11 for the forecast. As if I didn't have 100 other ways to get that info in seconds.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:50 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love piecing my night together one drunk text at a time.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:51 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Instead of tagging me in ugly pictures on Facebook, I wish you could just say "I hate you" straight to my face.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 17:53 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon A little boy examines his privates while in the bath. "Mommy, are these my brains?" His mother says, "Not yet."
←Rate | 09-25-2010 21:20 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 21:21 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember this next time you're about to say something stupid to me: Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.
←Rate | 09-25-2010 21:25 by Badd Status Comments (0)  



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