BAD GUY Funny Status Messages

   BOY: Hey you must be tired... GIRL: Let me guess, coz I was running through your mind all day? BOY: Hell No! From jumping to conclusions, b*tch

   What did the left pu$$y lip say to the other? We used to be so tight until we let some d*ck come between us.

   There's a limited amount of people whose feelings I care for. The rest of you all can go to a therapist for that.

   There is nothing wrong with saying no every once in awhile. It may piss a few people off but at least you will have some piece of mind!

   Great teamwork in a relationship is when a woman brings more than her looks to the table and a man brings more than a stiff d*ck.

   I broke up with my cross-eyed girlfriend today ... that b*tch was seeing someone else.

   Before having sex with a woman finger her and put it to her nose if she jumps back, kick that b*tch out.

   Oh, I saw your new boyfriend. So what happened to your standards?

   During sex, do you think midgets do it puppystyle?

   You know its time to move on when you start falling asleep during sex.

   If you were twice as smart, you'd still be the stupidest person I know!

   Some people are as useless as a "Sign in" button for Myspace.

   Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.

   Shut up unless you want your next period to come out through your nose.

   I wonder if Stevie Wonder knows he's black?

   Why do women even try to talk about football? Do you see guys in the kitchen discussing dishwashing strategies?