psycho Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon No, I don't want to hold your baby. It looks sticky.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 00:30 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing like a little chloroform and some duct tape to hold a relationship together.
←Rate | 11-04-2017 00:23 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't wanna make this weird but that's just kinda how I do things.
←Rate | 03-03-2015 12:23 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll stop being creepy when you stop sending me telepathic messages that you secretly want me.
←Rate | 11-20-2014 11:36 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm always the first one to say "I love you" in a gangbang.
←Rate | 08-11-2017 00:49 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think this midget prostitute is really selling herself short.
←Rate | 11-13-2015 00:08 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
←Rate | 03-06-2015 00:47 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I believe it is important to be an organ donor, which is why I am willing to donate my second chin to anyone missing a chin.
←Rate | 08-06-2017 13:50 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon The genie that I rubbed to get my three wishes was not a genie at all. Anyone got bail money?
←Rate | 10-15-2015 15:20 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon On a deteriorative scale, my liver is somewhere between Ozzy Osbourne and Charlie Sheen.
←Rate | 07-19-2016 01:16 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you make eye contact with yourself while brushing your teeth in the mirror you have to swallow.
←Rate | 11-02-2017 01:30 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon How much for the angry lawn gnome? Hey, that's my toddler.
←Rate | 01-30-2015 06:32 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar because you're so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and hold on, are those nuts?
←Rate | 01-30-2015 06:16 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Florida is going to be covered in stripper glitter and cocaine pretty soon.
←Rate | 09-08-2017 00:11 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon When there's a new woman at the house, and the dog doesn't stick his nose in her crotch, then I pass too.
←Rate | 10-27-2017 15:08 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Knock on your neighbors door and ask if they've seen your cat. When they say no pull your cat out of your pocket and make the introductions
←Rate | 10-22-2014 12:15 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
←Rate | 11-10-2017 00:22 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when I'm watching porn and my mom walks in. what is my mom doing in this p0rn?
←Rate | 06-01-2017 02:52 by psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon People with multiple personalities scare me. Speak for yourself b*tch. That's right, you heard him.
←Rate | 11-07-2014 00:47 by Psycho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your small talk is beginning to make my eye twitch.
←Rate | 06-05-2017 02:53 by psycho Comments (0)  

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