hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:24 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon I hate that part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 17:30 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of everything I've ever accomplished in my life, I'm most proud of the fact that I've never seen an episode of Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 01-04-2012 05:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes.
←Rate | 09-30-2012 04:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
←Rate | 11-13-2012 05:05 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon An apple a day is bullcrap. Apples are dangerous. Just look at Eve, Snow White, Blackberry or any pig at a luau.
←Rate | 06-16-2013 21:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mind and my body are starting to strongly disagree about how old I am.
←Rate | 11-04-2011 19:40 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I ask my mom to take a picture for me with my phone there is a 99% chance it will be a video of me yelling “IT'S THE BUTTON ON FRONT!
←Rate | 11-04-2012 10:02 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon May need to leave Facebook until after the election so I can maintain respect for some of my family and friends
←Rate | 09-08-2012 07:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 07:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid “The Server Is Down” meant your waiter was depressed.
←Rate | 11-28-2012 04:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sleep better naked…why can't the flight attendant understand this?
←Rate | 01-01-2012 18:54 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.
←Rate | 01-08-2012 08:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Heard a woman at Walmart call herself a "cougar." Good term - it flows better than "old whore."
←Rate | 03-01-2012 20:05 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 34, looking for some action!", so I sent her my ironing, that'll keep her busy.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
←Rate | 06-06-2013 14:03 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kim Kardashian is reportedly overeating while pregnant to secure a lucrative weight loss deal. Didn't her sex tape already prove she'll put anything in her mouth to make money?
←Rate | 04-17-2013 12:11 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your life
←Rate | 01-08-2012 08:15 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time you're in a hospital elevator, calmly ask a stranger if they know what floor you should get off at for infectious diseases.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 11:31 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care how old I am. If I lose my mother in a super market I'm going to panic.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 04:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  



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