Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Now that you really think about it, you've never seen me and Batman in the same room have you?
←Rate | 01-19-2011 14:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 14:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
←Rate | 05-16-2011 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 16:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Someone at work has been stealing my lunch from the refrigerator....... Tomorrow, I'm bringing a cat food sandwich... BON APPETIT MOTHER F*CKER!!!
←Rate | 03-27-2012 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had 14 beers at Chuck E. Cheese's... and this band is f*cking awesome!
←Rate | 04-30-2012 20:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 06:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 23:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon If you think it's necessary to judge me by my past, don't get mad when I put you there.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 08:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering... 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"
←Rate | 02-13-2011 21:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girlfriend's parents gave me a Best Buy gift card, which will be turned into a video game that causes me to ignore her for the next 30 days.
←Rate | 11-23-2010 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is a great way to get rid of stress, so go f*ck yourself and calm down
←Rate | 06-08-2012 18:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-27-2010 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to astronomy, whenever you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.
←Rate | 09-09-2012 14:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. But there's a problem... You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. You're not fooling anyone.
←Rate | 07-23-2011 15:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn't talk over the song.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone always makes fun of my man purse until I bust out a bottle of wine, a bag of weed, a bong, milk, cookies and a cheese platter.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 11:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
←Rate | 03-29-2011 19:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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