Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon As I get older and I remember all the people I've lost along the way I think to myself, maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me
←Rate | 08-16-2017 14:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever hate someone so much you decide to start eating healthy just so you can watch them die first?
←Rate | 12-02-2018 12:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could match my dog's excitement to go outside.
←Rate | 08-24-2017 23:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone here with one leg? I have a ton of socks you can have.
←Rate | 02-04-2019 08:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running shoes? No, I don't run. These are my "better hurry up the liquor store is about to close" shoes.
←Rate | 04-27-2018 14:17 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thighs that slap together when you walk are just giving the owner an applause.
←Rate | 06-28-2018 02:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fatter the man, the more Hawaiian the shirt.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 06:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
←Rate | 04-19-2018 01:48 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I now have permanent vision loss due to excessive eye-rolling at stupid idiots.
←Rate | 09-10-2017 04:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.
←Rate | 10-28-2017 07:20 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I need a vacation that I may or may not ever come back from.
←Rate | 12-13-2018 13:11 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon What do people who send out family Christmas cards want from us?
←Rate | 12-16-2018 09:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My dog just attacked the pizza delivery man. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING????
←Rate | 12-16-2018 09:44 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days
←Rate | 05-28-2018 23:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they made a Kindle that doesn't run out of battery? Like, a book.
←Rate | 08-23-2013 01:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon You'll install an anti virus on your computer but not on your kids?
←Rate | 03-10-2019 12:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
←Rate | 01-10-2017 08:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.
←Rate | 12-15-2014 08:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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