pimpjuice Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I can't believe Walmart already has Valentine's Day stuff out. which reminds me.. I need to lose my girlfriend soon
←Rate | 01-04-2014 23:16 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to flip a "lucky" around in my cigarette pack. Until I realized it's the only cigarette I get drunk and light backwards.
←Rate | 08-07-2013 10:13 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fish tanks are supposed to be soothing? My fish have seen me naked! I think my fish need a fish tank in their fish tank.
←Rate | 11-11-2013 07:02 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have got to stop wearing my sunglasses when I go out on the boat, I'm starting to look like a raccoon
←Rate | 07-28-2013 11:56 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEVER mix internet p0rn and mountain dew. Trust me on this one
←Rate | 07-30-2013 11:08 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon gang related violence has went up 50 percent in my house since I took the kids play station from them
←Rate | 08-14-2013 23:01 by pimpjuice Comments (1)  


   messageicon funny jokes must be a Monday thru Friday job. zzzz
←Rate | 11-09-2013 12:17 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon on a positive note, I got the results of my drug test back today
←Rate | 11-29-2013 17:31 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I gonna have to find me a partner...I'm as hard as woodpecker lips
←Rate | 07-26-2013 10:49 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon keep your friends close, your shotgun closer.
←Rate | 01-25-2014 21:47 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I only buy comforter sets that have white spots in the pattern
←Rate | 01-25-2014 19:31 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I will just take one bong hit with breakfast, chill out for a while, then get some things done. Aaaand I'm not getting off of the couch today.
←Rate | 10-31-2013 08:59 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon free candy and football. my kinda Thursday
←Rate | 10-31-2013 16:18 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon Male version: why buy the camel when you can get the toe for free?
←Rate | 11-16-2013 08:38 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can't hang around trifling people, you will begin to think it's normal if you have nothing else to compare it to
←Rate | 01-18-2014 11:16 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about having a teenager is every time I lose my weed, I freak out and wonder if my son took it.
←Rate | 06-08-2014 15:57 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well on a positive note, Charlie Sheen.
←Rate | 11-20-2015 15:57 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love my new wood heater. Women actually want to take their clothes off for a change
←Rate | 12-31-2013 19:51 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I'm saying is if she was any dumber I'd have to water her.
←Rate | 07-10-2014 16:54 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  


   messageicon the lucky is the only cigarette in the pacK that I get drunk and light backwards
←Rate | 10-08-2013 17:35 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  



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