bryan j brown Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If they play Adele "Set fire to the rain" one more time I'm gonna have too set fire to a radio station..
←Rate | 04-12-2012 10:51 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dang their sure been alot of folks gettin knocked-up recently...But what I dont understand is why yall seem so surprised on how it happened..Cuz chances are "You was F*ckin"!! I mean we dont need Scooby Doo too solve this mystery
←Rate | 06-04-2011 11:40 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I died wouldnt it be weird if you still got random status updates from me?? "I can see the light"...."This line to see Jesus is long"...."I wonder if someone will let me front skip them"...."Oh snap heaven is doin pat-downs"
←Rate | 12-11-2010 14:55 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dating Rule #7: When on a first date a gentleman always lets his lady have the Burger King crown...Cuz it will make her feel special....
←Rate | 10-20-2011 14:23 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I dont watch porn on purpose...Its alwayz an accident cuz those movie titles just be trickin me all the time..."The Fantastic Foursome"..."Miracle on 69th Street"..."Glad-he-ate-her"..."Womb Raider" and my personal fav "Riding Miss Daisy"
←Rate | 05-01-2011 16:36 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your girlfriend spend most of her free time watching "Law and Order" "CSI" "The First 48" "Dexter" and "Snapped"...Do yourself a big favor and go buy her flowers...
←Rate | 08-13-2011 00:00 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I feel like I understand it all...And then sometimes De Speaka No Englis
←Rate | 02-12-2011 08:33 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love how yall ladies enjoy that show "Snapped" stories about women who go crazy on their men..So I decided I'm gonna create a show for men its gonna be called "She Just Wouldn't Shut-the-f*ck-Up
←Rate | 04-13-2011 21:17 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait a min..she aint had a job in 2 years..And she had 10 lawyers?? Public Defender my ass...I guess its a good thing she wasnt a black girl named Peaches..Cuz she would have been Sh*t out of Luck...
←Rate | 07-05-2011 14:57 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can yall imagine what Thanksgiving is going to be like in the Anthony home this year...AWKWARD!!
←Rate | 07-05-2011 14:56 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You would think old people would drive a lil faster...I mean its not like they have alot of time to waste..Right?
←Rate | 09-02-2011 17:08 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know ur up too early when someone tells you "Good morning" and all you can do is think "if this mo fo says one more thing to me I'm gonna stab them in the neck with a pencil".....
←Rate | 12-20-2010 08:47 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon it crazy that when I go to stores and have to sign my name for stuff I sign "Daffy Duck"...I mean I guess its not a problem unless Daffy Duck steals my identity right??
←Rate | 10-12-2011 16:37 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well maybe if you didn't have dem ( . )( . ) poppin out your turtleneck we wouldn't have this Eye-Contact problem....
←Rate | 10-19-2011 14:02 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I miss the bottle rocket wars we use to have as a kid...Oh and too my boy "One Eyed Willy" thank you for taking one for the team all those years ago...What you lack in depth perception you make up with heart...
←Rate | 07-04-2011 16:40 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know Ive never understood those 1-900 numbers...It seems strange to me to pay to hear a woman's crazy talk on the phone for hours...Im gonna come up with my own 1-900 number where you pay a woman to just be quite for awhile...
←Rate | 11-22-2010 14:16 by bryan j brown Comments (2)  


   messageicon Kinda sad that future generations wont get the joy of watching scrabbled porn..."Is that a boobie or an elbow??...Hmm I dont know but it's gonna have too do"...
←Rate | 10-06-2011 14:50 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell no I don't use a Loofah in the shower....I use a Man-Sponge!!...There's a difference lol
←Rate | 09-03-2011 20:06 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read that the first vibrator was created to cure women who had hysteria....So I guess they created the first vacuum hose to cure men high blood pressure...
←Rate | 11-28-2010 10:49 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  


   messageicon Studies have shown that people who masturbate have longer lives then the people who dont... Guess that means my a$$ is living forever...
←Rate | 01-31-2013 18:34 by bryan j brown Comments (0)  



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