anonymous Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon he often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
←Rate | 03-28-2009 15:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "just wants less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done. "
←Rate | 09-21-2008 16:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon not allowed to use metaphors anymore. It's like an applesauce sandwich trying to teabag a Yeti. Know what I mean?
←Rate | 04-15-2009 08:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon receives sound advice from girlfriends. 99% sound, 1% advice.
←Rate | 03-20-2009 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon here..now what are your other two wishes????
←Rate | 04-22-2008 09:03 Comments (4)  


   messageicon trying to stop being indecisive, but is not sure about it...
←Rate | 03-08-2009 15:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon saving a lot on his child support by switching to condoms.
←Rate | 01-17-2009 10:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon out making some changes in hisher life...leave a message and I'll get back yo you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes!
←Rate | 01-22-2008 13:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon nourishing his inner child with Cheetos and beer.
←Rate | 02-28-2009 19:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has learned a lot from dogs: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down (I've really only applied the last to my life, however)
←Rate | 04-07-2009 14:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.
←Rate | 02-19-2009 16:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain
←Rate | 02-26-2009 17:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon textually active
←Rate | 08-06-2008 12:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon can't help but notice that fettucini alfredo is just fancy adult speak for macaroni and cheese.
←Rate | 04-14-2009 15:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon proof that God has a sense of humor...
←Rate | 04-22-2008 09:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon [this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]
←Rate | 02-20-2009 13:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon has found her favorite machine at the gym it's the vending machine!
←Rate | 04-05-2009 20:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon made a poor spending decision and would now like Congress to bail him out for the sake of his shareholders.
←Rate | 09-25-2008 00:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if there were no hypothetical questions?
←Rate | 05-07-2009 09:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon making cows laugh and watching milk run out their nose
←Rate | 04-28-2008 16:00 Comments (0)  


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