acreak Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon PSA: My patience today is about as thin as my oldest pair of panties. If you are stupid please stay away from me.
←Rate | 02-20-2012 14:10 by acreak Comments (0)  

   messageicon This weekend I will be drinking in Dog Beers, that way it doesn't sound like I am such a lush.
←Rate | 02-25-2011 11:18 by acreak Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield. Today I feel like the windshield washer fluid and heavy duty windshield wipers cleaning up the mess left in my view.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 08:36 by acreak Comments (0)  

   messageicon This week is Nude Recreation Week, in related news today is Cheer Up The Lonely Day and World Population Day. I think this is an excellent combination because if you play it right you can celebrate all 3 at one time!
←Rate | 07-11-2011 13:26 by acreak Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear George Clooney, I see you finally took my advice & broke up with that floozie, Elisabetta. Now you & I can get on with what is meant to be-US! You have my number, I left it for you on millions of texts,emails& letters. Pick up the phone, it's ok dear
←Rate | 06-23-2011 09:18 by acreak Comments (0)  

   messageicon My boss walks by my desk almost everyday and says, "Wake Up" even though I am clearly awake. So today I replied, "How could anyone sleep with the strong odor of bullsh*t around here anyway, but they always say you can't smell yourself like others can."
←Rate | 12-16-2011 08:45 by acreak Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today is Moon Day and Ugly Truck Day. So if you own an Ugly Truck, please feel free to Moon people today, but for safety's sake please only do it at red lights.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 08:46 by acreak Comments (0)  


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