Vitamin N Funny Status Messages

   Resistance is Not Futile...it's Voltage divided by Current

   The ability to get Pregnant is a Genetic trait. Scientific evidence shows that if your Parents never had any Children then neither will you...

   Just learned that you're supposed to Urinate on a Jellyfish Sting and NOT on a Jelly Roll Stain.......Sorry Sir.

   may have Memory Loss but, at least he doesn't have Memory Loss

   wonders...If 7-11 is open 24hrs a Day, 365 Days a year......Why are there locks on the door?

   My heart goes out to all those Frustrated people who are Stuck in Traffic, on their way to the Gym to ride Stationary Bicycles...

   Dear Moammar Gaddafi, Let Bin Laden be a message to you. If you do not stop, the United States will get you.......in 10 years...

   Sometimes I think that the only reason that the United States goes to War with countries is to help American kids learn Geography...before the War, how many of them could tell you where Afghanistan is?

   Officially out of Liquor Stores within a 25km radius that don't Recognize me as soon as I walk in the door...

   : If Blind people wear Dark Glasses...why don't Deaf people wear Earmuffs?

   Honestly autocorrect...I'm getting a bit tired of your shirt.

   I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use Real dinosaurs...

   thinks it's kind of cruel that those people who fought in WWII and survived Mustard Gas and Pepper Spray are now referred to as 'Seasoned Veterans'....

   1) Go to Google Translate 2) Type in “Will Justin Bieber ever hit puberty” 3) Translate: English to Vietnamese 4) Copy & paste the Vietnamese words back into translator 5) Translate: Vietnamese to English 6) Laugh Uncontrollably!!

   How is it that Obama can send a team into another country, kill a man, dump the body in the ocean then go on TV and tell the World about it and everyone cheers...but, if I punch some jerk in the face, I'll go to jail...

   If you Google the words 'Zerg Rush'...google will Eat the screen.

   Call me when there's a Royal Honeymoon video....

   thought he had Swine Flu....it turns out he was just really bored

   Why does Facebook even give me the option to 'Like' my own status? Of course I like my status, I'm Hilarious! ...and Sexy.