Susan Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Girls pick jerks over nice guys the same way guys pick sluts over cool girls.. we are all idiots.
←Rate | 10-18-2012 13:11 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want a man who knows the difference between… Its/It's… Your/You're… Two/To/Too… Their/There/They're… and eats my pu$$y like a pro.
←Rate | 10-08-2012 13:34 by Susan Comments (1)  


   messageicon It's not our fault you have a small d ick so don't take it out on us. Really, don't take it out.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 02:00 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no statement as powerful as a man crying. I guess I should stop hitting him.
←Rate | 09-29-2012 07:20 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's recycling day in my neighborhood tomorrow or as I like to call it - haul the wine bottles to the curb night!
←Rate | 11-14-2013 23:26 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm too pretty not to be having sex right now.
←Rate | 10-29-2012 13:06 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite sex position is any one where I'm not sitting alone, eating nachos and high-fiving my cat.
←Rate | 10-08-2012 13:31 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to start smoking again until I find someone better to do with my mouth.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 01:55 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how independent I am, I can never bang myself...So yes men, I still need you.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 13:20 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shut the hell up and do me. - How arguments should end.
←Rate | 10-25-2012 13:00 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon There will be no sandwiches after sex. There will be either sleep or death. Enough with the sandwich talk.
←Rate | 10-16-2012 02:01 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon The thought of you makes me clench my thighs......hard.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 01:38 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a woman, I always take good care of my eyes coz they are the only balls I have.
←Rate | 10-06-2012 07:00 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we're standing there kissing and my hands are in your pants, I'm what you'd call a sure thing.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 06:32 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon The ladder to success sure does have a lot of p enises on it.
←Rate | 10-28-2012 02:15 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need a man. But I want one. That means those of you with no jobs, no cars and no money still stand a chance.
←Rate | 11-09-2012 02:09 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daddy issues are now old enough to vote.
←Rate | 10-23-2012 12:47 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon My left nipple is 3 minutes slower than my right at hardening.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 23:49 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Light beer is for pregnant women and p ussies!
←Rate | 10-19-2012 09:27 by Susan Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing shows over-familiarity like leaving just your socks on.
←Rate | 10-19-2012 09:37 by Susan Comments (0)  



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