Sarah Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'Sarah': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 3

   messageicon Don't call me sugar, call me Splenda. I'm artificially sweet.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 13:24 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter asked me to help her with her math homework so I had to sit her down and explain that people with big boobs don't need to do math
←Rate | 02-06-2013 08:14 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wore matching bra n panties for this?
←Rate | 10-07-2013 12:27 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon This misfiring soap dispenser reminds me of you!
←Rate | 12-05-2012 01:15 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear young guys who don't know what Cougars are: Let me introduce myself.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 13:56 by Sarah Comments (1)  


   messageicon Brain: Being single isn't so bad. We're doing okay. Heart: But it hurts. I'm sad. Vagina: Did one of you idiots remember to buy batteries?
←Rate | 01-31-2013 06:22 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I even lose my panties when I masturbate.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 12:46 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got roses from a vegan. Not sure if they are supposed to be a snack or a decoration. Anyway, they're pretty. Maybe I'll eat just one.
←Rate | 05-27-2013 13:45 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not crying, that's just the vodka leaving my body through my eyes.
←Rate | 09-21-2013 10:24 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do these yoga pants make your d*ck look hard??
←Rate | 08-18-2013 12:18 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband picks fights with me like he doesn't even value half of all his assets.
←Rate | 07-23-2013 12:28 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think I'm going crazy, then I remember that I'm a woman.
←Rate | 02-10-2013 07:22 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a monster in my bed, not under it.
←Rate | 01-21-2013 14:08 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon When my boyfriend couldn't get me off last night, I slapped him in the face and yelled, "See! This is why you can't have nice things!"
←Rate | 12-19-2012 00:07 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I renamed my vagina "Rihanna" because it can also survive a pretty severe beating.
←Rate | 06-08-2013 11:52 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my men like I like my ice. Crushed and melts away within a reasonable time so I don't have to deal with it.
←Rate | 12-22-2012 03:06 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say the grass is greener on the other side, but have you ever flipped it over?
←Rate | 04-05-2010 10:12 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am woman, hear me give you the silent treatment.
←Rate | 12-05-2012 01:33 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon You call it cleavage; I call it a stray popcorn reservoir.
←Rate | 09-07-2013 02:21 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently, this ass is going to have to learn to tap itself.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 07:58 by Sarah Comments (0)  



[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left