Samir Momin Funny Status Messages
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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate....
When you're a fast texter, two minutes is a long time to wait for a reply....
Put a diaper on that mouth cuz you talk a lot of crap...
I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something....
I understand you got your swag on, but could you walk a lil faster...?
I Speak Fluent Sarcasm....
I dont have an attitude you just get on my damn nerves....
YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED ANOTHER DRINK....
Why do leprechauns laugh when they run...? cuz the grass tickles their nuts..
if you tickle my feet I am not responsible for what happens to your face....
I was blown away when I realised the word ' OK ' is a side ways person,...
Right now, my bracket is like a drunken one-night stand: sloppy but still doable....
Skinny jeans aren't for everybody...
Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it?
if you're just gonna quit going to the gym in a couple weeks then please don't pack the gyms now. thanks!
Have you ever noticed that Gatorade doesn't work on guys who suck?
The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
You've been dating for 2 days - you don't love each other.... Shutup!
I see you liked my status... I accept your invitation for sex.
The pollen levels are so high this year that it has the crackheads trying to convert their meth back into Sudafed..
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