Funny Status Messages Search

X says There's a difference between being funny and being annoying.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-15-2012 13:22 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I GOT ALL KINDS OF B1TCHES!!! German shepards, chihuahuas, dobermans, poodles...

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-16-2012 14:24 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Mosquitoes are just vampire flies.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-16-2012 14:44 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Never trust anyone that is nice to you, but rude to the waiter.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-17-2012 13:43 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says When people ask me "Plz" because it's shorter than "Please" I tell them "No" because it's shorter than "Yes."

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-21-2012 10:28 by Nobody Comments (4)

X says I don't drink so that I'm more fun to be around. I drink so that you're more fun to be around.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-21-2012 10:45 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I want to explore every inch and curve or your anatomy; I want to become fluent in YOUR body language.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-26-2012 14:08 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Just place a STUDENT DRIVER sticker on top of your car, and suddenly no one suspects you of drunk driving at 8am.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-28-2012 13:15 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says One of the biggest lies ever: The doctor will be with you in a couple of minutes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-28-2012 13:30 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I will always cut through a gas station parking lot to avoid a red light.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 11:07 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says You should know you'll get loud when you start drinking. It says right there on the label, "Alcohol by volume."

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 11:08 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says I would say that one day you'll be working for me, but I don't have any intention on running a strip club.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 11:38 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says You know you're getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 15:20 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says The world is not full of a$$holes. BUT, they are strategically placed so that you are sure to bumb into at least one every day.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-02-2012 15:43 by Nobody Comments (2)

X says I wanna apologize for my behavior yesterday. I take allergy medicine and you're not suppose to mix it with 16 shots of tequila

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 14:05 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Monday must be male. It always comes too fast.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 14:35 by Nobody Comments (0)

X Seen on a prison wall: "VIRGINITY - who says you can only lose it once?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-04-2012 10:48 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?............ The first couple of times you cough, its not your phlegm.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-04-2012 13:43 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-04-2012 14:14 by Nobody Comments (0)

X says You know you've been friendzoned if a girl adds you as her brother on Facebook.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-08-2012 04:13 by Nobody Comments (0)