Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I may look calm, but in my head I've punched you in the face 3 times!
←Rate | 03-23-2011 16:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 14:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have just painted a blue square on the garden to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!
←Rate | 10-20-2010 10:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that you really think about it, you've never seen me and Batman in the same room have you?
←Rate | 01-19-2011 14:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon This guy's all like "I think you've had enough beers for one night." Then I'm all "Scrw you, fridge. Appliances can't even talk."
←Rate | 05-23-2011 13:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, Martin Luther King, Jr. had to wait 40 years to get his own momunent, and then they make it out of white marble? Awkward...
←Rate | 09-02-2011 21:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn't talk over the song.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
←Rate | 05-16-2011 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just had 14 beers at Chuck E. Cheese's... and this band is f*cking awesome!
←Rate | 04-30-2012 20:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don't want to know."
←Rate | 09-28-2011 14:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 06:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stealing candy from a baby is actually pretty hard....... They always have adult friends nearby....... and they're loud snitches.......
←Rate | 05-07-2012 22:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every guy has a soft sensitive side. It's called “I need to get laid and I'll say and do anything to make it happen.”
←Rate | 11-16-2012 11:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 23:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
←Rate | 03-29-2011 19:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Take photos of friends with their face squished against glass. Assign to your phone contacts... it'll look like they're trapped inside your phone!
←Rate | 01-22-2011 21:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the grocery store, they usually have 6 check out lanes open, unless it's really busy, then they only use one.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 14:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think it's necessary to judge me by my past, don't get mad when I put you there.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 08:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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