Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I may look calm, but in my head I've punched you in the face 3 times!
←Rate | 03-23-2011 16:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have just painted a blue square on the garden to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!
←Rate | 10-20-2010 10:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that you really think about it, you've never seen me and Batman in the same room have you?
←Rate | 01-19-2011 14:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (3)  


   messageicon Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.
←Rate | 03-20-2012 14:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how much of a bad ass are, if a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 11:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.
←Rate | 05-16-2011 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
←Rate | 05-03-2012 16:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Someone at work has been stealing my lunch from the refrigerator....... Tomorrow, I'm bringing a cat food sandwich... BON APPETIT MOTHER F*CKER!!!
←Rate | 03-27-2012 14:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had 14 beers at Chuck E. Cheese's... and this band is f*cking awesome!
←Rate | 04-30-2012 20:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best part about living by myself is not having to explain why I fell asleep on the kitchen counter… naked… again.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 06:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today, I realized that Mario is definitely homeless. He wakes up every day wearing the same clothes, runs around in sewers, beats up people for their money, and what does he spend it on? Mushrooms.
←Rate | 03-26-2012 13:46 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.
←Rate | 08-19-2012 23:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (2)  


   messageicon If you think it's necessary to judge me by my past, don't get mad when I put you there.
←Rate | 11-21-2010 08:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the grocery store, they usually have 6 check out lanes open, unless it's really busy, then they only use one.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 14:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
←Rate | 09-05-2012 16:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is a great way to get rid of stress, so go f*ck yourself and calm down
←Rate | 06-08-2012 18:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he's pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.
←Rate | 11-27-2010 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to astronomy, whenever you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years late. The star is dead. Just like your dreams.
←Rate | 09-09-2012 14:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. But there's a problem... You're on Facebook on a Saturday night talking about how hard you're partying. You're not fooling anyone.
←Rate | 07-23-2011 15:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  




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