MDS Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon ..nothing up here, try further down the page.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 10:28 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nelson Mandela is dead. he has done some simply stunning things in his lifetime, my favorite was his performance as Red in Shawshank Redemption.
←Rate | 12-05-2013 17:47 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon My doctor said that jogging could add years to my life. I didn't believe him at first, but I went this afternoon and I feel ten years older already
←Rate | 04-26-2013 17:09 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon *REMEMBER ...Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and a spade.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 17:05 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife gets really annoyed when I make sexual requests. The other night, I asked her if we could try the 'praying mantis' position and she tore my head off
←Rate | 04-28-2013 11:39 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was looking out the window when my wife asked what I was staring at. I mumbled, "Must be about 32C out there..." is that the temperature? she asked "No! the neighbor lady is sunbathing topless" I replied
←Rate | 07-18-2013 22:55 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Single's Discrimination Day #NotMyValentinesDay
←Rate | 02-14-2017 07:52 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon "This is all your fault!" my wife moaned this morning. "What the hell have I done now?" I asked her. "Give me a chance to think," she said, "I've just woke up."
←Rate | 08-17-2016 07:10 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
←Rate | 02-13-2014 07:41 by mds Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Nelson Mandela dies at 95' Respect where it's due... That's 5 miles an hour faster than Paul Walker!
←Rate | 12-05-2013 17:51 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's safe to assume that more pubes are shaved on February 13th than any other day of the year.
←Rate | 02-13-2017 07:24 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon my wife got mad at me because I ate all six Klondike bars, but it's only obvious that she wasn't willing to do what it took to get one ;)
←Rate | 08-15-2013 21:44 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber's music is actually really good!...Once you turn the volume down all the way.
←Rate | 04-07-2013 18:20 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever my son questions my knowledge on any subject, I just remind him that I'm older than the Internet.
←Rate | 04-26-2013 07:40 by MDS Comments (1)  


   messageicon Remember the theme song from the Adams family?.. trust me, you will all day ;) dabba-da-bump *snap*snap
←Rate | 10-19-2012 08:00 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon He came hopping out of nowhere... I nearly spilled my beer, while I was driving along texting with the radio cranked up. Suddenly, I seen a flash of gray followed up with a "thump-thump!" Anyway Happy Easter! Sorry if you didn't get anything, my bad.
←Rate | 03-27-2016 09:20 by MDS Comments (1)  


   messageicon *Breaking News: North Korea's scientists claim to have developed a time machine. Translation: They figured out how to make a clock.
←Rate | 04-14-2013 13:06 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon The US is ranked 25th in math scores...this isn't any surprise to me, our elected leaders can't even ballance a budget.
←Rate | 04-23-2012 07:27 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waking up to Monday is kinda like the Mayans being right.
←Rate | 01-14-2013 07:30 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apparently there was a big misunderstanding yesterday, between me and the cute little Japanese girl that was cutting my hair. as I explained to the officer, How was I suppose to know what she meant when she asked me if I'd like a "brow job".
←Rate | 05-22-2013 07:59 by MDS Comments (0)  



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