Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages

   There are two types of people in the world. Please stay away from both of them.

   Not trying to brag but I haven’t been around people in days

   What if they made a Kindle that doesn't run out of battery? Like, a book.

   Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.

   Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.

   My fridge is just hospice for vegetables.

   My 13yo just dumped his girlfriend and now he's attempting to get his hoodie back. He's in for one hell of a life lesson.

   It's cool how Bruce Lee studied philosophy & poetry then applied it to something beautiful like punching people in the face.

   Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.

   All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't subject an innocent cat to a life with you.

   Men are born with a gene that allows them to know what the hell is going on in movies.

   You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it.

   Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes

   If you're not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you're probably boring.

   I find it funny how people throw around inspirational stuff like ‘live your life to the fullest’ after they've spent the entire day on Facebook.

   Being in the friend zone is like being the guy in the band who plays that little triangle.

   Objects in the selfie are way sadder than they appear.

   I miss the good old days before social media when adults acted like four year olds in private.

   Fact: You're not a true vegan unless you tell 10 people every day

   Your Facebook posts are like your children. Some go on to become successful and others make you look stupid.