Joseph Robert Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon when I'm feeling athletic, I go to a sports bar
←Rate | 06-17-2012 13:41 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tom Cruise has finally reached the 71st level of Scientology, Divorce
←Rate | 06-29-2012 14:09 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon These people on my Facebook aren't really friends, just more of a wish list of people I want to sleep with
←Rate | 09-07-2011 13:23 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've officially met everyone's mother yesterday via Facebook so I'm pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
←Rate | 05-12-2014 08:52 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breaking news: future editions of Monopoly will feature interchangable spaces for what are now Income Tax and Luxury Tax. Players will have the option to choose from the words "Tax," "Penalty," or "Fine," because, clearly, words no longer have meanings
←Rate | 06-28-2012 18:05 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Annie was an orphan because she was a filthy, disgusting, ginger child who wouldn't stop singing
←Rate | 10-21-2011 10:37 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone needs to tell my apt building that tapping the handle on a shower nozzle shouldn't change the temperature by thousands of degrees at once
←Rate | 02-21-2011 23:46 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would love to put all the girls I slept with in one room to see if they can figure out what they all had in common
←Rate | 01-13-2015 14:35 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did anyone else feel that? Oprah must be fat again
←Rate | 08-23-2011 14:43 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet shady people have a really hard time getting tan
←Rate | 01-09-2012 19:46 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon kids are like farts, I can barely stand my own let alone other peoples
←Rate | 06-30-2011 09:20 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thursday: Friday's younger, yet equally attractive sister
←Rate | 05-02-2013 09:24 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Breasts, great on chicks, AND turkeys
←Rate | 11-23-2011 19:43 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey guy walking down the street talking on bluetooth with a bag in one hand and nothing in the other, please use your free hand to slap yourself
←Rate | 08-30-2011 19:00 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Funny how the russians are so anti gay, yet they got a metal in mens figure skating
←Rate | 02-07-2014 10:55 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon First 20 mins of my day: I don't wanna get in the shower, I don't wanna get in the shower. Next 20 mins of my day: I don't wanna get out of the shower, I don't wanna get out of the shower...
←Rate | 10-23-2013 10:15 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nuke the Chinese! ...I mean microwave the take out
←Rate | 12-16-2015 15:33 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet socks and disposable contact lenses have abandonment issues
←Rate | 12-17-2012 16:29 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon #OscarsGoWhite??? More N igs just crying b/c they want something they don't deserve. What BS!
←Rate | 01-16-2015 07:36 by Joseph Robert Comments (2)  


   messageicon RIP Joan Rivers. She was 80 years old. Her nose was 31, and her lips sadly were only 22. So young!
←Rate | 09-04-2014 15:08 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  



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