Jackoo Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Masturbation is great. It wakes you up, puts you to sleep, relieves stress, and the only person who judges if you're good at it is yourself
←Rate | 01-16-2013 16:40 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like kids, only because they remind me to buy more condoms.
←Rate | 10-08-2012 13:42 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera . You attention seeking hoe
←Rate | 12-12-2013 14:15 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon No one can text faster than a pissed off woman
←Rate | 10-29-2012 18:28 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm drinking coffee because people think you've got a problem if you drink vodka in the morning!
←Rate | 07-11-2012 12:50 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
←Rate | 10-29-2013 13:50 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you ever get angry at one of my posts, the last thing you should do is tell me about it. That just makes it even funnier for me
←Rate | 11-10-2013 17:08 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me
←Rate | 03-21-2013 19:31 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a girl says, "I hate drama" there is a 99% chance she is a huge drama queen.
←Rate | 01-08-2013 14:07 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're offended and expecting us to give a f**k.
←Rate | 10-24-2013 15:27 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wouldn't make her your wife.. Don't make her a mother!
←Rate | 02-29-2012 15:15 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting married at 18 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.
←Rate | 01-26-2013 12:07 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like the fact that you can see someone's location on their Facebook profile. Because It makes it easier for me to avoid them.
←Rate | 09-20-2012 16:25 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even though Halloween is meant to be about dressing up as scary evil monsters, people still complain if you go as Hitler
←Rate | 10-28-2013 14:46 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should have an automatic detection service that as soon as someone posts something regarding the gym or healthy eating, then they immediately get rewarded with a medal that they are obviously after.
←Rate | 03-25-2013 14:04 by Jackoo Comments (2)  


   messageicon Got my wife some lovely perfume for Xmas, its called Tester.. Hope she likes it.
←Rate | 11-18-2013 13:57 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex called me today. I answered by screaming "HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!?!" and hung up. That should make her wonder a little bit...
←Rate | 03-03-2013 15:04 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning and the next day I do it all over again.
←Rate | 12-19-2012 16:14 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd rather watch a candle melt than play a game on Facebook
←Rate | 12-10-2012 12:56 by Jackoo Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're not sweating, you're not doing it right
←Rate | 11-06-2012 13:11 by Jackoo Comments (0)  



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