Destiny Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My GPS says "Estimated Arrival Time" I see "Time to Beat"
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:44 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon just seen two homeless people kissing so I screamed "Get a box!!"
←Rate | 04-01-2011 22:34 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop acting like God's gift to women... The gift was the Orgasm, You were just the messenger boy...
←Rate | 06-27-2011 04:43 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon dear GPS, please add an, "avoid ghetto" option.
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:48 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon umm I don't consider that a one night stand... That was a audition..
←Rate | 04-02-2011 19:53 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd appreciate if you'd stop calling me, but I'll probably respond if you decide to text
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:28 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people say I'm a dreamer, others say, “If you fall asleep at work again we're going to have to let you go."
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:48 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon whiskey: the official beverage of the FML
←Rate | 04-02-2011 20:03 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The hardest part of the business is minding your own."
←Rate | 04-01-2011 22:36 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon soo upset that I mixed up my voodoo dolls. If you feel any sharp, stabbing pains, please call me and describe the location. Thanks
←Rate | 04-03-2011 12:53 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If politicians are the answer, then it must have been a damn stupid question
←Rate | 04-02-2011 22:38 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon with great power,come's a great electric bill.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:27 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon would rather have a cure for the common hangover than the common cold.
←Rate | 04-21-2011 01:28 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you deleted and blocked. You may now kiss my a$$!
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:38 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon a picture speaks a thousand words.. but with photoshop, it tells a thousand lies..
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:50 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hygiene Tips: 1.Don't 2.Smell 3.Like 4.Sh!t
←Rate | 05-26-2011 00:30 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon would swim across the Ocean for some of my Facebook friends! Lol, just kidding. There are sharks in there!
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:38 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't wear skinny jeans unless you have skinny genes. And two X chromosomes, Thank You
←Rate | 04-04-2011 23:43 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone throws a stone at you...Throw a flower at them,,just make sure its still in the pot ;p
←Rate | 04-02-2011 19:54 by Destiny Comments (0)  


   messageicon If cars ran on BS, we would all have a full tank..
←Rate | 04-10-2011 16:35 by Destiny Comments (0)  



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