@svaldez187 Funny Status Messages

   Are we sure Queen Elizabeth's death was "natural causes" and not Reggie Jackson finishing what he started?

   A bee is willing to end it’s own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness.

   I honestly don't care what color the Mermaid is. It's all gonna smell like fish either way.

   Sometimes I call the number listed on missing dog posters and just bark

   Every day is St. Patrick's Day when you're a drunk who likes to pinch people.

   From Thunderdome .....to funeral home. RIP Tina Turner.