@The69Sheriff Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing '@The69Sheriff': View All Messages
Page: 2 of 10

   messageicon Any time someone tells you they're "about 20 minutes away" they're lying... They haven't left yet.
←Rate | 03-17-2011 15:17 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can you imagine how fast those clowns who make balloon animals can roll a joint.
←Rate | 05-28-2011 00:27 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want my tombstone to say "Don't just stand there... water my flowers."
←Rate | 08-19-2011 22:49 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can talk to animals... they don't talk back but the stuff I say to them is still really cool.
←Rate | 05-05-2011 13:37 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks sometimes it's fun to ask someone how they are but then before they can respond say, "Anyway" and change the subject.
←Rate | 02-11-2011 13:14 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon If someone says "I'll get back to you"... it apparently means "I'm going to forget we had this conversation."
←Rate | 03-11-2011 19:43 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon recommended by 4 out of 5 ex-girlfriends.
←Rate | 01-20-2011 21:38 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still don't understand how finishing my food is going to save a starving child in Africa.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 22:34 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks living well may be the best revenge... but rubbing your ass all over someone's cell phone is pretty good too.
←Rate | 12-14-2010 20:51 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouting "Not it!" should still make us exempt from doing anything that we don't feel like doing.
←Rate | 06-10-2011 13:17 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to wear a "One in the Oven" shirt backwards... so the arrow points to my ass.
←Rate | 06-29-2011 17:10 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my coffee the way I like my bed... made by someone else.
←Rate | 05-04-2011 15:27 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chemically speaking... alcohol is a solution.
←Rate | 05-27-2011 15:40 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Woke up with the ghost of Gloria Gaynor at the foot of my bed... at first I was afraid... I was petrified
←Rate | 06-04-2011 14:55 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stephen Hawking is British? Weird... I never noticed an accent.
←Rate | 05-01-2011 22:54 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls who are on the same menstrual cycle as their friends should basically be referred to as gang members... that's how dangerous they are.
←Rate | 05-31-2011 18:47 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time someone presses the elevator button you've already pressed... act totally impressed & tell them they did it waaay better than you.
←Rate | 02-15-2011 11:53 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first thing I do when I get a telemarketer call is say "Let's go off script. What are you wearing?"
←Rate | 06-13-2011 22:30 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's how I know I'm smarter than a 5th grader... I didn't have to go to school today.
←Rate | 05-19-2011 19:38 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's adorable when people assume I'm interested in anything they have to say before I've had my coffee.
←Rate | 05-16-2011 14:28 by @The69Sheriff Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left