@Plasticmortal Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon A mother my have a thousand daughters but a daughter has only one mother
←Rate | 05-09-2010 12:28 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:59 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon In my house, we pray after we eat.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:54 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon took a bucket of Legos to Lowes and asked the cute manager "Let's build something together" that's when I got thrown out of Lowe's.
←Rate | 12-29-2010 03:48 by @Plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 03:15 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I come from a stupid family. During the civil war my great uncle fought for the West.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:49 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:37 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:47 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken non-entity.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 03:17 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mary had a little lamb the doctor fainted
←Rate | 04-18-2010 11:33 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon Men who do things without being told draw the most wages.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:34 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 03:20 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon My old man, I told him I'm tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:45 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous… everyone hasn't met me yet.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 03:01 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:50 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees.
←Rate | 05-09-2010 02:56 by @plasticmortal Comments (0)  



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