@1_Jack_Jacko Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Nobody looks back at their life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep. Friday night here I come
←Rate | 03-28-2014 15:24 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon You hoes saying you're leaving America but can't even leave your boyfriend after he's cheated on you 32 times
←Rate | 11-09-2016 12:40 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Am I the only person who feels like Christmas didn't even happen?
←Rate | 01-04-2016 17:37 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...I had to smash."
←Rate | 08-09-2015 17:58 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday
←Rate | 02-27-2014 14:23 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's Monday. I'm refreshed and ready to hate my Job
←Rate | 03-02-2014 16:22 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you friendzone me, help me bang your other friends then. Bestie
←Rate | 10-28-2015 18:46 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice
←Rate | 03-10-2014 18:56 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want a woman who can cook, clean, do the laundry, pay the bills & still set aside the time to have sex with me while her husbands at work.
←Rate | 03-11-2014 18:29 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Stop complaining about being single on Valentine's Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald's doesn't serve breakfast after 10.30
←Rate | 02-12-2015 13:18 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's always so awkward ending phone calls with loved ones, I always say "I love you" and they're like, "thank you for choosing domino's"
←Rate | 02-08-2015 13:37 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say that nobody is perfect, then they say that practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their mind
←Rate | 06-25-2014 16:05 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who else does this? 1. wets toothbrush 2. puts toothpaste on toothbrush 3. wets toothbrush again 4. starts brushing teeth
←Rate | 03-16-2015 18:20 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon R.I.P to any guy that ever cheats on Ronda Rousey
←Rate | 08-04-2015 05:15 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (1)  

   messageicon You can assume that, for the next 2 weeks, there is Baileys in every cup of coffee I drink.
←Rate | 12-23-2014 10:34 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon If your boyfriend isn't strong enough to pick you up and pin you up against the wall, you have a girlfriend
←Rate | 04-12-2015 09:04 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon I want a girl that likes long romantic walks. Because I don't have a car.
←Rate | 02-05-2016 09:18 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Send me one more game request and I'm showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister
←Rate | 09-17-2014 14:43 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon WARNING. Content on my Facebook page may offend. But I don't fcuking care
←Rate | 10-09-2014 13:25 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

   messageicon Because of "YOLO", MILFS are now 16 years old.
←Rate | 05-18-2015 17:14 by @1_Jack_Jacko Comments (0)  

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