sully Funny Status Messages

   It's so sad that Leonard Nimoy didn't live long enough to find out what color that dress was.....

   I burn 95% of my calories removing gray and unwanted hairs from my head, face, ears and nose and the other 5% flipping people off while I'm driving......

   smoking a blunt with Justin Bieber.....

   Maybe this Mississippi flooding is part of the rapture thing? Has anyone thought about building an ark???

   So lets be clear ...we have the McRib, Kim Kardashian is single and the NBA is back? Black Guys are winning.........

   I was feeling a little under the weather. But surprisingly, I got down from my desk chair and I felt better? It must have been the high altitude.....

   I don't care about gay marriage or the confederate flag. I care about Beer.... Is it 5 o'clock yet?

   Does anybody no CPR in Miami? Lebron James is doing the International choking sign again.....

   I'd like to Jack Bauer this alleged Saudi suspect....

   That incredibly relieving feeling when you have to fart after having the man flu for 4 days, and its only a fart!! Fart roulette.......

   Excited to try this new Starbucks Nigerian Ebola Blend this morning....yum yum

   If I ever get into road rage again, and the person gets out of their car. I'm going to run them over under the Tony Stewart act..... Just saying

   Red Cross called and asked if I could donate to the Huntsville, Alabama floods. I told them that I would, but my garden hose only reaches to the end of my driveway....

   What if April Fools day doesn't really exist and it's actually the longest/greatest prank the world has ever seen......?

   I hope Casey Anthony's punishment involves cleaning the children's ball pit at McDonald's......

   My hurricane tip of the day: if you live in the Northeast, OMG HURRICANE COMING PANIC......

   True Fact: The Shamrock Shake at McDonald's taste like leprechaun vomit, and it makes your turd green..........

   HURRICANE Tip: Make certain to create a giant "X" with duct tape on all your windows to alert neighbors you are an idiot.....

   Lord, please forgive these gas prices, for they know not what they do to my pockets...

   The East Nile virus is apparently not as deadly or notorious?