Eddy Funny Status Messages

   when 1 of my lenses fall out, I like to think of the glasses as half full

   noticed something today at a restaurant. the womens restaurant sign is wearing a dress but the handicap sign beside it isnt...is the handicap woman naked?

   if you have ADD & OCD all you get done is getting everything organized

   all my teachers know computers....they used to code "C++" on my school papers

   Ebola guy in Atlanta .....if that does end up being an outbreak, everyone will at 1st just think it's The Walking Dead walkers.

   no more monkeying around for Davy Jones

   i hate being single...my hard drive gets foll of adult videos really fast

   optimistic people say "nobody is perfect" ......all my haters say "he's nobody"....even my haters think i'm perfect

   Gene Simmons is now married...hope he didnt french kiss the bride...she might choke

   ever notice how a newborn is like a pothead..."whoa, look at my hand...it has fingers"

   No, Microsoft, I'm not sending an error report because snitches get glitches

   if "PRO" is the opposite of "CON" then "PROgress" has to be the opposite of "CONgress

   are the smurfs just a midget tribe of the Avatars?

   i wonder if Bruce Wayne calls it his "batman cave" or his "bat 'man cave' "

   if wine is the blood of christ, why make up a song asking fro jesus to take the wheel?....u just asked for a drunk driver

   the facebook app...its like combining ESPN with Weather Channel & some occasional drama

   if a tow truck hauls an RV, does that make the tow guy a "home-wrecker"?

   dont laugh at ur friends if they start sounding like chicken little this next week..."the sky is falling"

   if this 2nd stimulus goes through, I want this payment in pennies so I can swim in it like Scrooge McDuck

   Lasik surgery is at least $500 to just fix an eye....on wheel of fortune I can buy the I for half that price