Sully Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon One positive lesson I've learned from this missing plane..... I'm going to start dumping my murder victims in the Indian Ocean from now on.
←Rate | 03-24-2014 12:29 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone up for making some "debris", throwing it into the Gulf of Mexico after midnight, and saying that we found the missing plane? #AprilFoolsJoke
←Rate | 03-31-2014 12:02 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if somebody finds the missing plane tomorrow but no one believes them because April fools....?
←Rate | 03-31-2014 19:12 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if April Fools day doesn't really exist and it's actually the longest/greatest prank the world has ever seen......?
←Rate | 04-01-2014 09:15 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
←Rate | 04-07-2014 17:46 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part of getting your Smart Car Tipped is probably trying to win enough Chuck E. Cheese tickets to get another one.....
←Rate | 04-07-2014 18:07 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon The barista at Starbucks gave me a free Mocha this morning! Must be a follower...... Facebook fame is finally paying off!
←Rate | 04-09-2014 21:48 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since Obama is negotiating with terrorists......... Let's offer Mexico a prisoner swap. We will give them 11.7 million immigrants in exchange for our one Marine.
←Rate | 05-31-2014 13:53 by SULLY Comments (7)  


   messageicon If you swap five copperheads for a rattlesnake, your kids still won't be any safer in the yard. Same with terrorists and traitors.....
←Rate | 06-03-2014 20:34 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Asked my wife if she would be my friend on FB again, she said no. She said my "funny" status updates are annoying. Therefore, I must conclude she loves me for my body...
←Rate | 06-12-2014 21:42 by SULLY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Been teaching the grandkids about taxes at DQ by eating 38% of their ice cream.......
←Rate | 06-23-2014 18:51 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Merry Half-Christmas! Enjoy the holiday, everyone.....
←Rate | 06-25-2014 14:05 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat........
←Rate | 06-26-2014 10:23 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon America. Even when we lose, we still win..... USA!!
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:56 by sully Comments (1)  


   messageicon Paid a kid $20.00 to cut my grass - I've officially created more jobs this year than Obama.......
←Rate | 06-28-2014 11:33 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear air conditioning: I don't think I've ever truly expressed how grateful I am for you. Now please keep cranking out that cold air.......
←Rate | 06-29-2014 16:44 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon My left buttcheek fell asleep. I'm Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.....
←Rate | 07-30-2014 08:06 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Is it just me...., or does "Ebola" sound kind of like "Obama?"
←Rate | 07-30-2014 13:39 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I might have a natural immunity to Ebola. I get feverish, diarrhea and vomiting symptoms most Sunday mornings....
←Rate | 07-30-2014 14:31 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Excited to try this new Starbucks Nigerian Ebola Blend this morning....yum yum
←Rate | 07-31-2014 11:49 by sully Comments (0)  




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