father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   Happy Father's Day to all ads.... Except to those who can't drive a manual. Happy Mother's Day!

   My adopted highway called the Department of Transportation to find his real father.

   I can still remember the words my father said to me on my wedding night “let’s hope this ones not a whore like the last one!”

   My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge raclst, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was bIack - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

   Her: I have a child that needs a father figure. Him: I wear socks with sandals. Her: wow, you’re daddy af.