Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

   I'm the author of my life.Unfortunately I'm writing in pen so I can't erase my mistakes

   A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

   I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! I love doing laundry! Nope, it's just not working...

   I am known for my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around.

   Just when the mind found the answers, the heart changed the question...

   I choose to be different because being normal is boring.

   My friend pointed out the other day, that the book/film "New Moon" is bassically just one girls choice between Beastiality, or Necrophilia... hope that gives you ladies out there a little perspective on "romance."

   MySpace is the VHS of the internet.

   I never make the same mistake twice... I like to fill my day with a wide variety of mistakes from a large number of sources.

   A man buys his wife a car and she says "Can't you get me something that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds?" He brought her the bathroom scale.

   When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, everyone remembers. Funny how that works.

   Sometimes the dreams that come true are dreams you never even knew you had.

   We spend so much money on buying different clothes... without realizing the best moments are spent without clothes... ;) :D :P

   I've gone to bed like 6 times tonight and I've ended up on Facebook every time.

   What do I do when I see someone EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKIN'? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired, I put the mirror down!

   I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't.

   Think Big. Think Positive. Think Smart. Think Beautiful. Think Great. I know,that's too much for you, so here is a shortcut. JUST THINK ABOUT ME!

   According to google maps there is no such place as Cougar Town, this show is so full of $hit.

   Stop everything you're doing. Think about me. You're welcome.

   Being real is like being a lady... if you have to tell people you are... you aren't.