GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Okay now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for summer!
←Rate | 12-30-2023 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: If you're getting ready to go out in public with your wife, ask her, "Would you please put on some makeup?" This will help her understand that you are concerned with her appearance, and she will love you more for it.
←Rate | 05-08-2023 05:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a call from a telemarketer and he said he couldn't understand me. I told him to press 1 for English.
←Rate | 01-15-2024 05:56 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon NO! I didn't fall on the floor! I attacked it with my wicked ninja skills! Aren't you jealous?
←Rate | 01-19-2023 19:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on a wife's mind when lecturing her husband: whatever she's lecturing her husband about. What's on a husband's mind when his wife is lecturing him: the scores of the ballgame.
←Rate | 03-04-2023 07:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip #3: When you have to run some errands and your wife doesn't want to go with you, just grab yourself some Dunkin Donuts, don't get her any. When she asks why you didn't grab her anything, just say, "If you truly loved me, you would have gone w
←Rate | 02-07-2021 09:18 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon So if the groundhog is too fat to see his shadow, do we get six weeks of jelly doughnuts?
←Rate | 02-02-2023 06:01 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ok Jack Frost! You need to quit playing freeze tag with Elsa and Subzero from Mortal Kombat. Because you all keep missing each other, and it is starting to affect the rest of us.
←Rate | 01-30-2023 10:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's so cold out that you can milk a cow and get instant ice cream.
←Rate | 01-29-2023 13:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the fastest way to calm a woman down when she is angry?
←Rate | 10-15-2024 10:18 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm tired of winter! I want to fast-forward to complaining about how hot it is!
←Rate | 12-03-2023 09:29 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get how people afford life without a job??? I can't even afford it with a job.
←Rate | 12-21-2023 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My parents have been attending their own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1984.
←Rate | 12-02-2023 08:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worried about rising gas prices? Taco Bell and White Castle sell gas for less than $2.
←Rate | 05-15-2023 06:04 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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