Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The amount of stuff coming out of this woman's handbag as she searched for her keys, I wouldn't be surprised if that missing Malaysian plane is in there too.
←Rate | 05-30-2014 01:16 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much for the antidepressants? Ma'am those are puppies.
←Rate | 05-24-2014 13:50 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon -Do you take drugs? -No. -Ever tried them? -Never. -You seem very nervous. -I'm just not used to being questioned by a unicorn.
←Rate | 05-21-2014 01:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This vodka tastes like it needs more vodka.
←Rate | 05-20-2014 07:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to get out of bed and worry from another location.
←Rate | 05-13-2014 00:58 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life sucks, But sometimes you get to have sex, And sometimes you get to drink beer.
←Rate | 05-11-2014 07:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how many people's phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
←Rate | 05-09-2014 13:19 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If by exercise you mean grabbing my phone out of my pocket every two minutes then yes I exercise a lot.
←Rate | 05-09-2014 13:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook.
←Rate | 05-08-2014 10:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women's biggest mistake: thinking men can read their minds Men's biggest mistake: not trying to read women's minds
←Rate | 05-07-2014 10:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
←Rate | 05-07-2014 10:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend doesn't question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 03:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon courage turns quickly into fear when you attempt to kill a cockroach and it flies.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 02:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some girls should drink alone so they don’t get pregnant, again.
←Rate | 05-04-2014 06:42 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How I hate people who initiate a conversation and don’t continue with it.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 08:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y'all.
←Rate | 05-02-2014 09:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Transformation Tuesday! Throwback Thursday! Flashback Friday! Never underestimate a woman's ability to find a reason to post a selfie.
←Rate | 04-30-2014 14:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you say "I don't care" in every language known to man?
←Rate | 04-30-2014 13:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was gonna call you... but I'm still sober.
←Rate | 04-30-2014 01:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  




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