Joser Funny Status Messages



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Page: 17 of 39

   messageicon None of my illegitimate sons sent me a card today. B@stards.
←Rate | 06-20-2010 22:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon As a man, it scares the hell out of me that North Korea has a missile called the "no dong."
←Rate | 05-25-2010 18:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact "gorilla" does not rhyme with "tortilla" infuriates me.
←Rate | 05-28-2010 11:50 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome To Sh*t Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon When asked "What would you bring with you to a deserted island", how come no one ever replies, "A boat."?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 17:44 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you see a burrito running down the street screaming "RAPE", please return him to me. He is totally overreacting.
←Rate | 04-15-2010 23:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am under: paid, pressure, followed, rated, the gun, the radar, the influence, the weather and the wrong impression. WTF
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never looking back doesn't make you an optimist, lady, it makes you a horrible driver.
←Rate | 06-30-2010 17:53 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why hasn't anyone invented alcohol that acts as birth control too?
←Rate | 07-14-2010 17:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker...
←Rate | 05-11-2010 17:26 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Psst. Hey. Europe is asleep. Let's talk sh*t about them.
←Rate | 07-01-2010 17:34 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Called my 40 year old cousin in Louisiana and told her she'd better hurry up and get married. There won't be as many fish in the sea now.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:31 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon With all the technology available now, you'd think they'd have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 17:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I plan on using a treasure map as my will
←Rate | 07-15-2010 17:54 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wait, so the 3 day rule applies to calling a girl, and the 5 second rule applies to dropped food? It all makes sense now
←Rate | 04-30-2010 18:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm no volcanologist but has anyone tried throwing in a few virgins?
←Rate | 04-22-2010 18:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if my boss was more fun and carefree in his youth, when his name was Anakin.
←Rate | 07-12-2010 11:39 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm beginning to think the only real committed women are the ones who are institutionalized.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:20 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray, That somebody puts that sh*t on YouTube, So I can watch it every day.
←Rate | 05-13-2010 10:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't fall asleep with all these people honking at me. Go around!!
←Rate | 05-14-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  




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