santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   A Nightmare on Elm Street is a Christmas movie. Freddy wears a red and green sweater, and gives parents the gift of taking away their crippling financial burden.

   The toughest test in a marriage is interpreting the statement, "Don't get me anything for Christmas."

   I wonder if Santa Clause is going to have to wear a mask this year....

   At Christmas time it's fun to take a new Lexus for a test drive, put a big red bow on it & pull into random people's driveways honking the horn.

   thinks Santa Claus has the right idea. Only visit people once a year

   may not be Santa, but it doesnt mean he hasnt seen you while you're sleeping...

   I use my birthday as an excuse to do whatever the hell I want. So basically it's just like every other day, except with presents.

   It would be so much more ''festive" if UPS and FEDEX guys dressed as Santa while delivering packages during the holiday season

   If you can't figure out what to get someone for Christmas, get them a gift card! It's like saying, "Here's $20... go get your own damn gift!"

   TAMPAX has announced that they will be taking the string off tampons and replacing it with tinsel ....... This is for the Christmas period only!

   Christmas: The only time of year when your credit card company calls you and says "Thank you!"...

   Will World War III begin before or after Christmas? Because I don't want to buy presents for nothing.

   I bought a Christmas tree today and the guy asked me 'Will you be putting it up yourself?' I told him, 'No, you sicko, it's going in the living room!'

   Dear Santa...Thank You for the response, but telling me to review my web browser history, wasn't what I meant! But, well played Santa...Well played...

   says, "Dear Santa, I know it's a little early....but could you DEFINE naughty?" ;o)

   Inbox me your Bank Account or Credit Card number and I will post in my status which bill I paid with it or which Christmas gift I purchased. This is one numbers game I will play.

   "Wow, Santa! Have you lost some weight? And have you been working out? I can sure tell...Because you look great for your age!" Rudolph The Brown Nose Reindeer

   Stop blaming the holidays....you were fat in August!

   Dear Santa, I was framed.

   Dear Santa, Don't bother coming to my house this year. I've been naughty and it was f*cking worth it, you judgemental son of a b*tch!"