Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Me: Damn. Another gray hair. *plucks it* Old man standing next to me: Ouch!
←Rate | 07-13-2020 10:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Washington Redskins are dropping the name "Redskins" for cultural correctness, which is fantastic. But, to prevent other global embarrassments, I would drop the "Washington " as well
←Rate | 07-13-2020 09:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I pretty much doubt hillbillies have big back accounts. Big moonshine bottles, yes, but not big bank accounts.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 08:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I use to think that wearing masks was so ridiculous and lame. Now that I've seen him wear one, I love masks and I can get enough of them.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 08:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know how can cure the Coronavirus. Stop socializing! And you could give me the Nobel Peace Prize later thank you.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 08:01 by moon Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Ieft has big vocabularies; the right has big bank accounts. Guess which one pays the bills at the end of the month?
←Rate | 07-13-2020 07:40 by MigdaGwig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mexico is reconsidering building the wall for the sole purpose of keeping out New Yorkers.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 07:35 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon The problem with this country is that too many people say they want Justice when they really want Revenge.
←Rate | 07-13-2020 07:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The weather is 88 and hazy .. kind of like Joe Biden
←Rate | 07-12-2020 21:48 Comments (1)  

   messageicon No one ever boycotted my beans! - George W. Büsh
←Rate | 07-12-2020 17:27 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ask Alexa "Do (state a color or race) lives matter?" and listen to the different responses...
←Rate | 07-12-2020 16:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who go out to to socialize can be compared to zombies, who are also not thinking.
←Rate | 07-12-2020 16:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
←Rate | 07-12-2020 09:10 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon I support Goya: Black Beans Matter
←Rate | 07-12-2020 08:46 by MigdaGwig Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dating is like going to garage sales where everything looks great from a distance but up close you realize it's just a bunch of crap you don't need. 21 minutes
←Rate | 07-12-2020 01:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really don't understand this so called pandemic. We have been social distancing ever since we signed up for Facebook.
←Rate | 07-11-2020 10:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know when it comes to being corvid free I really don't have a hard time not really socializing seeing as how I've been practicing doing that ever since I signed up for Facebook.
←Rate | 07-11-2020 08:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm a BLM fan: Bacon, Lettuce, & 'Mater samich.
←Rate | 07-11-2020 01:33 by MigdaGwig Comments (0)  

   messageicon DNA is so detailed, that it directs hairs where to grow on your nut sack.
←Rate | 07-10-2020 20:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really hope the Covid-19 virus can't be spread from kissing butt.
←Rate | 07-10-2020 14:35 Comments (0)  

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