hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you wear a pirates outfit to PetSmart... you can walk out with a like eight parrots on each shoulder and they can't say nothing.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:22 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My number one New Year's Resolution is: Don't die.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 18:16 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A girl just asked what I would call a girl who would do just about anything sexually on the first date. I told her I would call her a...mediately!!!
←Rate | 06-06-2013 14:05 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got kicked out the pool today,apperently the breaststroke isn't what I thought it was
←Rate | 08-19-2011 16:39 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't hear the sea when I held a Shell up. I did however get 6 years in jail for armed robbery on a Gas Station
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon A night of insomnia is always followed by a morning of browser history clearing.
←Rate | 02-24-2012 18:52 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first person that falls asleep at my parties doesn't get written on or their hand in warm water. They get the phone numbers of their girlfriend and ex-girlfriend switched in their cell phone.
←Rate | 12-03-2012 19:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe if women would quit playing games they'd worry less about competition.
←Rate | 09-11-2012 17:29 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since I'm so good at failing to fullfill my resolutions, this year my resolutions are to be unhealthy, avoid the gym, pay my bills late and have more sex with ugly girls.
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:47 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to hate any song in less than ten seconds? Just set it as your alarm for 5:30 in the morning.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 19:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want a Christmas like we used to have with all of us together pretending we're enjoying it.
←Rate | 12-25-2011 18:17 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon They need to make a commercial for the lottery that's all about a guy using the money for revenge.
←Rate | 10-26-2012 16:59 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throw a stranger a surprise party by putting confetti inside their closed umbrella when they're not looking
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:55 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish that I would get a popup for "possible virus" when I meet new girls.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 11:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's December! I guess it's time to pretend I'm putting up the Christmas lights... that I never took down from last year
←Rate | 12-02-2012 03:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so gangster, I don't even send an error report to Microsoft when Internet Explorer unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches.
←Rate | 09-25-2011 11:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Worst part about having an iPhone or any other smart phone for that matter is when you get mad you can't slam the phone
←Rate | 09-12-2012 19:35 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got fired from my part time job working from home because "Apparently" when people call for support I shouldn't tell them that I am not wearing pants.
←Rate | 09-15-2012 12:05 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it's because she's a big dumb stinkyhead that's jealous of my awesome Transformers collection
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:45 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just sang every word of Adele's "Someone Like You" and all this girl said was "Do you understand why I pulled you over?" Rude.
←Rate | 02-17-2012 17:25 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  




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