GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sometimes I think Facebook needs a "Slap you in the Face" button.
←Rate | 10-29-2023 08:50 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: If your wife says she's only getting two things at the store, don't believe her. She's lying!
←Rate | 03-14-2024 10:33 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The problem with autocorrect is that it often makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.
←Rate | 01-28-2024 10:52 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless and to humor the disturbed.
←Rate | 10-11-2023 17:07 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let me get this straight; a fat man who breaks and enters into my home, who steals all my Christmas cookies, is the one who judges if I'm naughty or nice?
←Rate | 12-16-2022 10:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I say your slow, I mean that you are as fast as a herd of turtles stampeding through chunky peanut butter. That's slow!
←Rate | 03-22-2023 06:00 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Toilet was stolen out of city hall yesterday. Police say they have nothing to go on.
←Rate | 09-13-2023 05:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The clocks go back this weekend. Hopefully back to when we could afford groceries.
←Rate | 03-06-2024 08:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are scams all over the internet! Send me just $19.95 and I'll show you how to avoid them!
←Rate | 07-26-2024 06:12 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm off to the park to laugh at all the joggers.
←Rate | 03-02-2024 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please keep your dogs and children quiet in the mornings. Some of us have been up all night setting off fireworks. Thank you!
←Rate | 07-03-2022 07:15 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear paranoid people who check behind the shower curtain for murderers: What exactly is the plan if you find one?
←Rate | 01-14-2024 05:57 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip #10: Whenever your wife can't decide where she wants you to take her out to eat, take her to her least favorite restaurant, and then order her her least favorite food item. From then on out, she will at least always give you an option.
←Rate | 02-25-2023 07:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a magician. But I once turned a back rub into a kid and a mortgage.
←Rate | 11-17-2024 10:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I told the bank manager that I wanted to open a joint account. He asked who with? I said, the customer with the most money.
←Rate | 02-24-2024 06:05 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well, it's July and almost 100 degrees. Walmart should be putting the Christmas stuff out any day now!
←Rate | 07-06-2024 07:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If there is no sound in space, is a fart on earth louder than a supernova?
←Rate | 11-15-2024 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I couldn't get a reservation at my local library. They were booked!!!
←Rate | 02-22-2024 06:07 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just a reminder: Walmart will be closed on Christmas Day so both cashiers can be with their families.
←Rate | 12-09-2023 07:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon To save time, let's just assume I'm never wrong.
←Rate | 07-14-2022 08:50 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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