Funny Status Messages Search

X If we're not supposed to have late night snacks.. why is there a light in the fridge?

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-20-2010 19:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)

X I don't drink about you anymore.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-17-2010 09:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Dear Life, I have a complete grasp on the fact that you are not fair... so please quit teaching me that lesson.

<--Rate | Submitted: 03-26-2012 13:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Everybody deserves second chances, but not for the same mistakes.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-14-2011 18:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Don't be stupid, if their ex is still calling its because they're still getting an answer.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-01-2012 16:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Whoever said Diamond are a girls best friend........Obviously never bought one a detachable showerhead.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-05-2012 14:01 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-16-2010 13:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X After I die, they will look through my portfolio of Facebook status updates and see that my life was not wasted.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-05-2010 13:23 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Just when you think you have buried the past, They find another Body...

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-29-2010 09:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X If you promise not to get emotionally attached, you can kiss my ass.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-16-2011 17:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X I am so confused. My boss just said "keep up the good work" and I have no recollection of doing any such work.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-07-2011 15:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X If you have to question whether or not your behavior is acceptable - it's probably not.... and we should definitely hang out.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-27-2011 14:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X When someone calls shotgun I yell Rosa Parks and sit in the seat and refuse to move.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-04-2012 12:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X To DO: ☑ Get groceries, ☑ Lay around, ☑ Eat stuff, ☑ Be Awesome.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-05-2010 20:10 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X I wonder how old Jenna Jameson's twin sons will be when they realize they weren't the first two guys to be in their mom at the same time.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-07-2011 14:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X I've decided I'm not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I'm sorry.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-05-2012 22:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Tell a girl a million times shes not fat... She'll never believe you... Call her fat once she'll never forget it.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-27-2011 13:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Are you single single or internet single?

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-21-2011 16:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X You'd be surprised how people get the words "f*ck off" confused with "please continue."

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-04-2011 10:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)

X Why does every wireless provider say that they have the best, fastest, most covered 4G network? Someone's lying.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-07-2011 20:30 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)