Funny Status Messages for FacebookThousands of statuses to update your Funny Facebook Status, Twitter status, or profile.
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X says are there actually people out there who make their beds every morning or is that just a myth
X says how many cupcakes have to die before all these cupcake wars end??
X says An eye for an eye leaves the whole world with a lot of pirates and cyclops.
X says Everyone needs a nice pair of boobs to soap up in the shower, their own or someone else's.
X says When a man pats a woman on the ass it's just a friendly way to say "Hi". That, and he wants to bang it like a screen door in a tornado.
X Men! If you don't sleep with them, they never call...if you do sleep with them, they never call. You may as well get a good f**k out of the deal.
X what f#cking idiot named them jet-skis instead of boatercycles
X In Japan, the title "Jersey Shore" translates into "Macaroni Rascals"
X is Then satan said, "Put the alphabet in math"
X The foods that prison inmates eat are more nutritious than the food in school cafeterias......Just let that sink in for a bit.
X says Sometimes I consider myself a badass then I remember the most dangerous thing I've done today was sneeze while driving.
X says I’m glad men don’t wear skirts, I imagine how much shorter they would be when we had erections.
X says Ever just apologize for no reason whatsoever? No? It must be nice being single.
X says Bacon is natures way of making up for Monday mornings.
X says If 40 is the new 30, then Monday is the new Friday.
X It's like Batman didn't even care about crime in the cities surrounding Gotham.
X On a scale from 1 to dyslexic, how 10 am I?
X is Happy Mothers Day!..Thank You Dad for not Pulling Out!
X I kinda just had kids to have somebody to watch cartoons with.
X Dear car dealerships; whoever told you we like shouting commercials lied...