Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When someone calls shotgun I yell Rosa Parks and sit in the seat and refuse to move.
←Rate | 09-04-2012 12:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm making a list of regrets. Just to be sure I'm accurate, how do you spell your name again?
←Rate | 02-10-2012 12:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you single single or internet single?
←Rate | 10-21-2011 16:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't laugh at yourself... I will gladly do it for you.
←Rate | 11-29-2010 09:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon I never make the same mistake twice... I like to fill my day with a wide variety of mistakes from a large number of sources.
←Rate | 05-23-2010 21:29 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever said technology will replace paper... has obviously never tried to wipe their ass with an iPad.
←Rate | 12-01-2012 16:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Game: "Would you like to try the tutorial first?" Me: "No." *minutes later* "How the hell do you play this?"
←Rate | 09-02-2012 21:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I had a job where I could frequently say, "If my calculations are correct..."
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:06 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had Déjà vu...and you were an asshole both times.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 12:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am pretty certain it is easier to become a Navy SEAL than it is to get a damn fly out of my car.
←Rate | 06-13-2011 15:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do the right thing today: Go to someone's profile, ccroll down 4 months, and like something.
←Rate | 03-17-2012 15:14 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the shoe fits, shove it further up their ass.
←Rate | 03-30-2012 15:54 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I planted something on Earth Day... My ass in my recliner for the day!
←Rate | 04-22-2012 19:09 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being right isn't nearly as important as knowing when to shut the hell up.
←Rate | 05-04-2012 16:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon A report indicates V iagra can cause temporary hearing loss in men. So guys, you can have sex, but you can’t hear the woman talk afterwards. In a related story, V iagra sales have skyrocketed.
←Rate | 05-26-2013 00:50 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you DO succeed, someone's probably going to think you cheated.
←Rate | 10-09-2010 09:32 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at the end of your life you have no regrets, you did it wrong.
←Rate | 07-15-2010 11:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.
←Rate | 06-06-2010 21:35 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice how unaware people are of the world around them? No?
←Rate | 02-23-2011 14:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard they're going to be opening up dentist offices in Walmart. They are even including an express lane for people with 15 teeth or less!
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  




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