Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 13 of 6367

   messageicon MARTHA ! You do have your medicare card. I don't blame you.
←Rate | 10-30-2023 23:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Karen just yelled at me in a parking lot that dressing up as a bum for Halloween is offensive to the homeless people. But I was just wearing my regular clothes.
←Rate | 10-30-2023 12:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My eight-year-old just asked me if Bingo was the name of the farmer or the dog. Now I am questioning everything I thought I knew about life.
←Rate | 10-30-2023 10:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lol lmao
←Rate | 10-30-2023 09:45 by Reyeka Comments (0)  


   messageicon Okay, we got the message. The guy from 'Friends' died.
←Rate | 10-29-2023 12:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I think Facebook needs a "Slap you in the Face" button.
←Rate | 10-29-2023 08:50 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not turning my clock back an hour on Nov 1st because seriously none of us need an extra hour of 2023.
←Rate | 10-28-2023 05:50 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mr troll some cure disease in life some stop wars you have been able to destroy a fun site to visit. Maybe you can move out of nanas basement next.
←Rate | 10-26-2023 18:26 by Mrbarber Comments (0)  


   messageicon Walmart will be closed on Thanksgiving day so that the self checkers can be with their families
←Rate | 10-26-2023 12:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Massacre
←Rate | 10-26-2023 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being in a relationship is solving problems together; Problems you wouldn't have if you were single.
←Rate | 10-26-2023 07:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of yall dressing y’all kids for red ribbon week then smoking a blunt after they go to school.
←Rate | 10-25-2023 22:35 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ahahahahaH !nothing at ... awesome you're think I that you tell to just trouble this of all through go you made I (NOW READ BACKWARDS)
←Rate | 10-24-2023 15:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know SIX facts about you. 1.) You're on your phone or computer. 2.) You're reading this. 3.) You're still reading this. 5.) You didn't realize that I skipped #4. 7.) You're checking and now smiling. 8.) You didn't realize that I skipped #6.
←Rate | 10-24-2023 14:13 by @billzonwheelz Comments (0)  


   messageicon ab/2k[zhi6op7/vb Sorry, there was a spider on the keyboard, but it's dead now. Wait, gzfew!1;p9nmkxpxq Okay, now it's dead.
←Rate | 10-24-2023 14:02 by @billzonwheelz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear lady in line in front of me with six screaming kids under the age of ten. You see that box of condoms that magically appeared in your cart? YOU'RE WELCOME!
←Rate | 10-24-2023 13:56 by @billzonwheelz Comments (0)  


   messageicon That awkward moment when you're absolute SURE you're gonna die after leaning your chair back too far
←Rate | 10-24-2023 13:53 by @billzonwheelz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Halloween
←Rate | 10-23-2023 23:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a mosquito with a coat on. They're not giving up!
←Rate | 10-22-2023 09:22 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't like your coworkers, go to work dressed up like a bear. Tell people "don't poke the bear"
←Rate | 10-20-2023 20:33 by Eddy Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left