Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon we are making money again... markets are going up up up
←Rate | 06-05-2020 10:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon two babies starting a true crime podcast about who got their nose
←Rate | 06-05-2020 09:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon soup was invented in 1927 by John Soup when he wanted to drink a chicken
←Rate | 06-05-2020 09:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Cheesecake Factory to start reopening restaurants but they will only have a limited 413-page menu.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I miss going to weddings just to bring home the centerpieces.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My stomach is upset but my kidneys are just disappointed
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I tossed my billiard table into the bathtub. Now I have a swimming pool.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon World’s Most Dangerous Bees 6. Honey 5. Killer 4. Fris 3. Hucka 2. Zom 1. Apple
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The key to a really good breakup is just to think “What would Meg Ryan do?” Sure, you’ll still be a sad, sniffling, anxious mess, but now you’ll be an adorable, sad, sniffling anxious mess.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon People who confuse the word "burro" with "burrow" don't know their ass from a hole in the ground.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I drive more safely when there's food in the passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there...
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:17 by Gabe Comments (0)  

   messageicon Before you come out to the country, remember we'll sit in a tree all day waiting to kill something.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 08:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Obviously stupidity is much more contagious than Covid19
←Rate | 06-05-2020 07:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For a year numbered 2020, it's amazing how blind some folks can be.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 06:20 by Fazzy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dr. Fauci said we must limit stores to 10 looters at a time.
←Rate | 06-05-2020 06:06 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 🎶 ...No mask on your face You big disgrace Spreadin' your germs all over the place... 🎶
←Rate | 06-04-2020 22:27 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I’m convinced that Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars are made by Dyson.
←Rate | 06-04-2020 22:16 by JCGJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm almost to the point of thinking that the only thing that can unite us is a Netflix show about a gay zoo owner, with a platinum blonde mullet.
←Rate | 06-04-2020 19:12 by BIGTOE0311 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Leaders who have hidden in a bunker and gassed their own citizens include Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. 
←Rate | 06-04-2020 16:07 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Remember when the dumbest thing Trump had ever said was COVFEFE... good times ...
←Rate | 06-04-2020 10:27 Comments (1)  

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