andrew jackson Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Having a bad Day? Remember there are folks who have their ex's name tattooed on their body
←Rate | 02-14-2014 05:03 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon People assume when I yawn that I’ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
←Rate | 04-21-2014 05:27 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon My tombstone will read "should have googled it first."
←Rate | 04-16-2014 04:43 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've said it before and I'll say it again: it before
←Rate | 12-13-2013 05:18 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was so angry at my parents when I found out Santa wasn't real, I stormed out of the house, got in my car and just drove and drove.
←Rate | 12-04-2013 05:41 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon So disappointed that Hello Kitty isn't a cat. This must be how Snoop Dogg felt when he met Emily Blunt
←Rate | 09-11-2014 05:27 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dogs are tough. I’ve been interrogating this one for hours and he still won’t tell me who is a good boy
←Rate | 07-02-2014 04:41 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been around the block a few times. I forgot where I live.
←Rate | 06-02-2013 08:15 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don't want to go to prison.
←Rate | 01-19-2015 07:52 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon When people ask where I live I always say by the sword.
←Rate | 04-29-2015 12:08 by andrew jackson Comments (2)  


   messageicon how long does it take possums to realize when one of them are actually dead?
←Rate | 05-21-2015 05:56 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best reply to "I love you" is "Well that's a terrible idea."
←Rate | 05-14-2013 06:26 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paper shouldn't beat rock -- maybe smooth jazz fusion or contemporary country, but that's it.
←Rate | 04-13-2015 12:57 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think "look at all these poor people who don't know Netflix exists."
←Rate | 08-19-2014 06:17 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon 1st sneeze: Bless you. 2nd sneeze: Bless you 3rd sneeze: Get out of my life until you are finished with whatever this is
←Rate | 02-17-2015 13:41 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon People complaining in the express line about the lady writing a check will be uber ticked when I try to barter a sheep for this 6-pack of Pepsi
←Rate | 04-30-2014 06:55 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doritos has a new flavor named Street Taco. Which used to be my rap name.
←Rate | 10-10-2014 22:10 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Throw caution to the wind. Throw indecision to a tornado. Throw anxiety to a cyclone. Basically, If it's windy make real bad decisions.
←Rate | 04-12-2015 14:52 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pretty sure my dog would make a horrible astronaut because space is a vacuum and those tend to scare her
←Rate | 11-07-2013 20:32 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
←Rate | 12-21-2014 07:15 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  



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