love Funny Status Messages

   I will fake love and take full advantage of you .

   So I thought about asking the love of my life to marry me. Chicken Parmesan. . .

   It has been revealed that Ryan Giggs of Manchester United has been slammin' his brothers wife for 8 years! damn! Talk about brotherly love.

   There are two things a HUMANS can never hide: The fact that he's drunk, and the fact he's in love.

   Hate Mondays.Annoy Tuesday.Ignore Wednesday.Smile Thursday.Love Friday.Enjoy Saturday.Damn Sunday!

   Put your crash helmet on love, because you're going through the headboard.

   Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.

   If god is a dj, life is a dancefloor, love is a rhythm, you are the music, you get what you are given it's all how you use it and god wants you to shake your ass!

   All you need is love. And Valentines Day is the perfect time to buy lots of things to prove it.

   Last night my wife is sipping a glass of wine while sitting with me, she says: I love you so much I don't know how I ever live without you! Me: Is it you talking or is it the wine? Her: It's me talking to the wine!

   It takes real courage to suck another man's c@ck. And any man who can do it can dern well defend the nation I love.

   You chose tragic love story I choose avoiding preventable tragedies

   What's the word for when someone realize that they love you after it's too late? Oh yeah, "get lost loser".

   The problem with feelings is WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

   Don't be sad if you're alone on Saint Valentine's Day as it could be worse like how it turned out for poor Saint Valentine who for the love of a woman was imprisoned then beat to death with clubs.

   Math tells us of the 3 saddest love stories: Of PARALLEL lines, who were never meant to meet. Of TANGENT lines, who were together once then parted forever. And of ASYMPTOTIC lines, who could only get closer and closer, but could never be together.

   Maybe you misunderstood me. I love you in a "tennis score" sort of way.

   Maybe if you really love them you won't put them to the ultimate test of seeing just how much of your bullsh*t they can actually put up with

   I love those people who can make me laugh during those moments when I feel like I can’t even smile.

   Money can't buy love; you are just paying for their attention and time.