Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   it okay to text my kids not to come home cause i'm gonna do their mom? I mean, it is 2013... RIGHT?

   Napsterbation. Combining two of my favorite activities..

   RING... RING!!! (My Boss) "Hello?" (Me) "hmph gorg jawb forb berk." (My Boss) "Okay, see ya on Tuesday."

   Glad Facebook knocks me off for "Routine Maintenance"... said by no-one, ever!!

   Not sure if I slept or just drifted into a brief coma... can't explain this taste in my mouth either.

   Home from a long day so please don't call or text me. Gonna combine my favorite things... Yep, I'll be Napping Off.

   I wonder why George Bailey never told Mr. Potter to just SUCK IT...

   Never take acid with a squirell named... Hey squirell dude, what's your name? Phil? Never take acid with a squirell named Phil.

   The only thing worse about sneezing while going down stairs with a cup of coffee is now you got to go back up and fill er up again...

   I'm going to trade in my "I'm stupid" t-shirt for the fancy "I'm with stupid" one.

   You know you had a good night when you go to the bathroom the next morning and get the full effect of all the stool softener you drank...

   Fast forward to the drive-thru one...

   I either need a new dentist or i'm just too far behind in the times. What does my Prostate have to do with oral hygiene???

   I guess someone hacked in and changed the format...

   Haters are like crickets… they make a lot of noise!!

   wondering what a "PANG of DISAPPOINTMENT" is....

   WTF. Adam Lavine photoshops his face onto my body? so pissed right now...

   about to make it RAIN all up in 2012!!!

   So am I on Facebook or is everyone updating their Sports Annalist resume?

   Do you think I'll now what's up in "Horny Neighbors 3" without seeing the first 2?