GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just once in my life, I'd actually like to see a liar's pants catch on fire.
←Rate | 07-13-2024 07:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.
←Rate | 11-14-2024 05:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest mistake people make in a relationship is giving their heart to someone who needs a brain.
←Rate | 01-21-2024 05:57 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when we used to do prank calls growing up? Now those spam calls are karma getting us back.
←Rate | 03-20-2024 06:10 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon What do I like most about my job? Payday, breaks and leaving.
←Rate | 07-18-2024 05:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you take a social media sabbatical, don't announce it. Just make your last post something fun like "I wonder if there's a bear in this cave?"
←Rate | 03-16-2024 07:13 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a message for the thief who stole 100 cans of Red Bull from my car: How do you sleep at night?
←Rate | 10-17-2023 08:18 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is there enough asphalt for speed bumps but not enough to fill potholes?
←Rate | 01-22-2024 11:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's finally November! That means it's time I get to start saying the two words everybody wants to hear: Merry Christmas!
←Rate | 11-04-2023 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are you single? Just remember that at this time of year, something wonderful and heartwarming happens. Tons of candy goes on clearance!
←Rate | 02-07-2023 06:00 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you see me talking to myself, don't judge us. We're trying to talk ourselves out of doing something stupid.
←Rate | 04-19-2024 05:54 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, if the relationship fails, don't blame her only. It takes 2 people to mess up a relationship. Blame her and her mother.
←Rate | 02-11-2024 10:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My class essay on internal organs was too short. So I added an appendix.
←Rate | 03-11-2024 06:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon And yet again this morning No one was standing Next to my bed Saying Your Royal Highness here is your coffee.
←Rate | 05-24-2024 06:52 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today. His parents weren't too happy about it.
←Rate | 04-17-2024 08:31 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said, "Thank God for that! What are they?"
←Rate | 11-04-2024 05:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm on my second guardian angel. My first one quit and is now in therapy.
←Rate | 10-28-2024 06:00 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really used to hate speed bumps. But now I'm slowly getting over them.
←Rate | 10-23-2024 09:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you unfriend me and then later decide to send me another friend request, there will be a $29.99 reconnection fee.
←Rate | 10-10-2024 08:44 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon One of the biggest lies I tell myself: I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it.
←Rate | 10-25-2024 10:24 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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