Eddy Funny Status Messages

   i'm not an alcoholic, i'm a drunk... alcoholics go to meetings

   I should just change my name to "Han" because it looks like I'm gonna stay solo *forever alone*

   im not lazy...my body is just an environmentalist that likes to conserve energy

   people get so mad at me in the self-checkout lane....i stand there checking myself out just like the name says. they say I take too long

   forget Mardi Gras....for me every Tuesday is a fat Tuesday

   I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday

   automatic doors make me feel like a jedi

   Happy labor day to all the moms out there....oh, you mean that's not what it means?

   youtube is red, facebook is blue, I'm so lonely with nothing to do

   i wonder if the Pillsbury Doughboy has a Facebook account &when his friends "poke" him he makes the little noise like in the commercials

   does fantasizing about the cheerleaders count as "fantasy football"?

   kids have to be confused by halloween...rest of the year ur not supposed to talk to strangers or accept anything from strangers...on halloween you say "trick or treat" to a stranger & accept their candy

   during the local christmas parade tonight, the local hospital had a float that read "more than a hospital"...yeah, they're also a morgue

   I bet there was a lot of red solo cups used last night

   i feel sorry for future generation college kids.....we buy our books & can sell them back...in the future it will be a kindle download you cant sell back

   tonight the sky will be like most of my family.....pretty well lit up

   if people around you are being negative, be extra positive & cancel them out

   to the lady in the office complaining about her man.... you can't spell MANAGEMENT without MANAGE MEN. if you can't manage 1 guy don't expect a promotion to be in charge of 10 men

   Lets send the coronavirus tiger to Carole Baskin

   "tums" needs to change their product name....some ppl are dyslexic with heart burn & easy offended by reading SMUT on the bottles