Mickey Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon We had a happy marriage; it was all that living together afterwards that caused the trouble.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 07:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just watched Godzilla backwards. It's like, it's about this dinosaur who insanely pieces a city back together, then moonwalks into the ocean.
←Rate | 01-24-2012 06:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I took a Russian model shopping. Got her lots of stuff. She called home and I overheard her say in Russian, "Mama, he eece a verry rich man!" Good thing she couldn't read the sign that said 'Dollar General'.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 22:28 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish I had a "friend with benefits." By benefits I mean they would own an ice cream store, and the benefits would be free ice cream.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 16:00 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Joe Paterno has died....Now Penn State students can riot again and break more $hit.
←Rate | 01-22-2012 10:25 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have this roomie who must go thru half a roll of toilet paper every time she uses the bathroom. I'm going broke. Some people are so @nal when it comes to wiping their a$$.
←Rate | 01-21-2012 10:17 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women on fb. They "Poke" you a hundred times a day. Then they find Mr. Perfect for the millionth time and then disappear...until the big breakup a week later...then the Pokes start up again. DELETE!
←Rate | 01-20-2012 09:24 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Really now... a show called: "When animals attack"? It should be called "When stupid people go near dangerous animals."
←Rate | 01-20-2012 06:04 by Mickey Comments (1)  

   messageicon My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:20 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon My sofa loves playing hide n' seek with the remotes, clever ba$tard always wins too.
←Rate | 01-18-2012 20:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon there really a benefit to listening to a Hip Hop CD in shuffle mode?
←Rate | 01-18-2012 12:28 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if young people on honeymoons today have as much sex as we did when I was young. For the first week on our cruise, most people thought my wife and I were Siamese twins.
←Rate | 01-16-2012 07:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was in the 10th grade I was taught $ex-ed by a 65-year-old nun, which is kind of like taking barbecue lessons from a vegetarian.
←Rate | 01-15-2012 09:23 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't consider myself a Tebow hater...that label is placed on we Tebow realists by his sycophantic minions. Just now...he threw a dead on pass...at the receiver's ankles.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 22:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon The other day I went for a job interview, do you think it was a bad idea to ask if they ever press charges?
←Rate | 01-14-2012 15:03 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon One positive thing about internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whoever you meet.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 07:14 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon In the facebook "Edit Profile" section, it asks if you want to show your sex in your profile. Of course I do, but I can't find the tab to upload the video.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 06:48 by Mickey Comments (0)  


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